Tinder has never really given me any fulfilling experiences or opportunities… though my experiences and opportunities *have* been quite interesting.

One experience in particular, while not successful in the sense of a relationship, has led to a domino effect on my life.

The date w/ Tinder man wasn’t anything special. If anything it was below average and a little annoying but I was new to the city so I agreed to a second date. Which. Was. Horrible. So I told him off and went on my way.

About a week later he texts me out of the blue. To invite me to an exclusive sex theatre & masquerade. I know what you’re thinking. Why the fuck would he have the balls to ask a girl who dumped him to a sex party? His reasoning? The ticket was over $1,500 and he had to bring a woman and his first date got cold feet and left him out to dry. He thought I’d be fun to go with, we didn’t have to stay together the whole night, and he didn’t want to take anyone he knew too well considering the nature of the party.

He made some very valid points and it was a once in a lifetime opportunity so I agreed to go. Theme of the night? Eyes Wide Shut… meaning a masquerade… Yaaasss I’ve been wanting to go to a masquerade for the longest time and now I was able to attend one. In sexy lingerie no less!

We head to the penthouse in one of the most amazing hotels in the city and the ambiance is everything I’ve dreamed of. I grab a glass of champagne and get to socializing. The deal for the night was that I’d get my date a threesome and I could do whatever I wanted from there. I find a very sexy couple from Sao Paulo and while they only wanted me as a third I convinced them to let my date in on the action as well.

Before we moved into one of the provided bedrooms I have to use the ladies’ room and pull aside a handsome man to ask where the bathroom is. We search together and after failing to find one he says,

“Oh fuck it, just use the one in my suite”

He. Was. The. Founder. Of. The Party.

I use the facilities and once I finish we start to chat. Tell him about my search for a third for my date so I can finally ditch the dude. He offers to kick out my date for my benefit and I tell him no. That would just be ungrateful.

As I thank him and head out of the suite I throw him a wink and tell him to find me later…

And that’s all you lovelies get tonight ❤

Until tomorrow 😉

*insert pseudonym*(can someone come up with one for me?? I’m stumped)



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